They appear as they were initially reviewed by admissions officers. Sample Essay 1 Wellesley, Influence of mother It took me eighteen years to realize what an extraordinary influence my mother has been on my life. She's the kind of person who has thoughtful discussions about which artist she would most want to have her portrait painted by Sargent , the kind of mother who always has time for her four children, and the kind of community leader who has a seat on the board of every major project to assist Washington's impoverished citizens.
Growing up with such a strong role model, I developed many of her enthusiasms. I not only came to love the excitement of learning simply for the sake of knowing something new, but I also came to understand the idea of giving back to the community in exchange for a new sense of life, love, and spirit.
My mother's enthusiasm for learning is most apparent in travel. I was nine years old when my family visited Greece.
Every night for three weeks before the trip, my older brother Peter and I sat with my mother on her bed reading Greek myths and taking notes on the Greek Gods. Despite the fact that we were traveling with fourteen-month-old twins, we managed to be at each ruin when the site opened at sunrise.
I vividly remember standing in an empty ampitheatre pretending to be an ancient tragedian, picking out my favorite sculpture in the Acropolis museum, and inserting our family into modified tales of the battle at Troy.
Eight years and half a dozen passport stamps later I have come to value what I have learned on these journeys about global history, politics and culture, as well as my family and myself. While I treasure the various worlds my mother has opened to me abroad, my life has been equally transformed by what she has shown me just two miles from my house.
Anytime you can share a story rather than simply telling your reviewer how you're a leader is preferable. They use their Leadership short answer as an opportunity to show how they overcame adversity and converted a weakness into a strength.
They round their essay out well identifying specific opportunities on UT's campus that appeals to them. We tried our best to relieve some of the stress in our family.
At school, I founded our Investment Club. My classmates elected me as Treasurer of our student body where I am responsible for keeping monetary records and handling funds. On the field, I won the starting quarterback job during my sophomore year after having not played since fifth grade.
I led our team to the second round of the playoffs, our first trip in five years. I will continue serving as a leader in college. You only get one shot at college, and I want to have meaningful experiences helping others. I am excited to work alongside like-minded, driven, service-oriented Longhorns. I want to join the Texas Blazers service organization and Capital Community.
I hope to start a business-specific organization. I look forward to reconnecting with him and learning ways to continue my ministry work. Commentary This essay is a great example how you can discuss more than one activity or experience. Instead of simply stating that their mother fought cancer, they take it a step further how they advocated and raised money to help other families.
It's also a good example how you can be a leader at home or in your family and not just in formal extracurricular activities. They eventually gained admission to McCombs Business, so highlighting their founding of an Investment Club relates to their first choice major.
Reviewers look for Leadership experience and students who are well-rounded, so touching on a few other Leadership roles is an effective way to make this argument. Sharing a visit to campus is a great way to answer Why UT is a great fit for you.
They paint a full portrait of how they see themselves as a leader on campus and no doubt their reviewer had a favorable impression after reading this and their other essays. I told them about everything that went right. We went into every game believing that we could win, and with each successive, sometimes last-second loss, our confidence collapsed, and our morale dropped. It can be easy to become negative, but I think my optimism helped our team come close in many games.
I pride myself on keeping my head held high no matter how tough the situation. I lead through kindness, motivation, and conscientiousness. At UT Austin, I plan to lead a student organization that focuses on fortifying the morale of struggling students. Mental health issues are a big concern on college campuses. I want to be an advocate for struggling students to help alleviate these anxieties and pressures. I trust that my ability to lift people up from pessimistic positions will be a crucial measure of my years at UT.
Commentary This is one of my favorite short answer submissions from any that I worked with. It's kind of an opposite-leadership response. It's easy to say you're a leader in a state championship band or a nationally competitive robotics team. It's another thing entirely to maintain a positive attitude, continue going to practice, and giving your best effort when you're on a team clearly lacking talent.
They take a nuanced perspective to winning, losing, and competition. Implicitly, they demonstrate characteristics like maturity, patience, and resilience. It's an outstanding example how, at first glance, an experience that may have few redeeming qualities for admissions reviewers can be reframed into a very powerful statement about your personality and ability to handle setbacks. Interested in building your best application?
I had to compensate against other naturally talented and experienced players. My fondest memory from high school was when I recovered a fumble during our spring game. The whole defense came off the sideline and started celebrating like I had won the game!
I played golf during my sophomore and junior year. I always stayed after practice to hit by myself no matter how many blisters had broken open. Soon, my teammates looked to me for advice often alongside my lighthearted teasing. I teach members about investing while organizing guest speakers and business projects in collaboration with school faculty. At UT Austin, I want to join the Computational Finance club and the Undergraduate Investment Team, where I can learn more about quantitative analysis and apply my financial theory knowledge to manage portfolios.
Commentary What's interesting about this submission is what this student chose not to share. Their resume was outstanding and undoubtedly one of the strongest in the applicant pool even for Business Honors where they eventually gained admission. At first, I was unsure about their choice to discuss sports, but after working through a few drafts, I saw their point of view and reasoning for discussing football.
Playing JV football and recovering a fumble in the spring game was probably at the bottom of their resume and would otherwise be unremarkable.
They committed their other essays to a few more prominent activities. By focusing on their area of most improvement - athletics - they provide a different dimension to their application than if they had discussed their more obvious leadership activities. They balance out their prompt citing a few examples to demonstrate their interests and competencies in Business and illustrate effectively how they see themselves as a leader in UT's Finance community.
Over a hundred DFW-area high school students entered their short films in a jury-judged competition. The top twenty-two films were screened at the Studio Movie Grill in Richardson to an audience of over industry professionals, friends, and family. My film teacher recognized my ability to visualize the desired outcome, plan a timeline, and complete a large project in a timely fashion.
She trusted that I could complete a large task with many moving parts and execute the event smoothly. Given the complexity and magnitude of the festival, I had to engage, encourage, and communicate with my team, the student filmmakers, the community, sponsors, our venue, and industry professionals to make our vision a reality. Booker T is a community of artists, creative revolutionaries really, but artists tend to get bogged down in the details and fail to finish projects.
People who can complete projects are a precious commodity. Managing artists can be like herding cats, temperamental, scratching cats. I hosted many meetings with festival volunteers to build our vision and coordinate roles and responsibilities. I strived to communicate effectively with my peers. Everyone has their own ideas and opinions on the best way to do things. With some advice from my friends and trusted faculty, I incorporated their suggestions to create an agreeable style.
I learned that leadership is a fluid exercise, always changing, and accommodating others to elicit their best ideas and efforts.It's easy to say you're a leader in a state championship band or a nationally competitive robotics team. Lean problem solving process. I lead through kindness, motivation, and conscientiousness. On the field, I won the starting quarterback job during my sophomore year after having not played since fifth grade. They round their essay out well identifying specific opportunities on UT's campus that appeals to them.
If we had to write this prompt when I was applying to UT, I probably would have talked about covering our bodies in house paint and spray painting letters in support of our school's Men's Basketball Regional Semi-Finals in Waco.
UT wants you to discuss in words your Leadership experiences and how you see yourself as a leader on campus. At first, I was unsure about their choice to discuss sports, but after working through a few drafts, I saw their point of view and reasoning for discussing football.
Also, the boy isn't even a role model. Given the complexity and magnitude of the festival, I had to engage, encourage, and communicate with my team, the student filmmakers, the community, sponsors, our venue, and industry professionals to make our vision a reality. I enjoy solving technical challenges, and we always compete in groups.